Even keeping them from my own friends and family. Just being scared was and is all I know. I can't let anyone find out because it will destroy me. What kind of a person would they see if I told them the truth? They would never trust me again. I would have lied to them for all these years, and they would feel betrayed. I don't know who to turn to. There is no one out there that can help me with this problem. I keep thinking, "tell my best friend" but then I always, ALWAYS chicken out at the last minute. I can't tell her. I can't tell anyone. It's so hard, trying to keep this facade up any more. Its really difficult to pretend to be something/ someone I'm not. I can't be this person because it's not in my nature and I really do not want this. I'm scared of telling anyone, out of fear of becoming an outcast and of being destroyed. I don't know what to do any more. I just... don't know.
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